In the book of Judges it says: "In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes." (Judges 17:6; 21:25) This is an attitude I have noticed in people quite a lot recently. But the more I recognize it in others, the more excruciatingly vivid it becomes in my own attitude. I am guilty of thinking I'm always right... or at least that I always have the right intentions.
My friend Shiloh actually brought this to my attention a few months ago. I was presenting how I really find myself to be an interesting person (though this may be vain, it IS true), and Shiloh made the comment, "Well, every man is right in his own eyes, according to the Bible." I admit that I felt a bit surprised - I was rather expecting something like, "But Christy, you ARE incredibly interesting!" Hahaha. But that was the start of all my thoughts on this, so I'm grateful for his words.
The truth is, Shiloh is correct. Each man is right in his own eyes. It says in Proverbs, "The way of the fool is right in his own eyes, but he who listens to counsel is wise." (Prov 12:15) and again, "All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirits (the thoughts and intents of the heart)." (Prov 16:2)
We all give preference to ourselves. When we hurt others we know it wasn't intentional... or even if it was, they deserved it because they hurt us first. Our actions are right to us. We excuse thoughts that others would find offensive. We dismiss hurtful comments because we didn't intend them to come out that way. We pardon our actions because they came out of misunderstanding (if we had been informed, we would never have done that!). In the beginning of his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie shows that even the worst of criminals believe themselves innocent!
I suppose another thing that made me notice this in myself was the privilege of observing the same attitude in certain campers while I counseled one week this summer. During and after that week of camp, I noticed that every time something irritating happened, even if it was my fault, I immediately started making excuses for myself. I'm so tired. I haven't had a moment to myself all summer. Well I have to shower SOMETIME. She knows I hate it when she says that. They could have at least TOLD me that they were offended! Why are we so much readier to extend grace to ourselves than to others?
Thankfully, I did notice this ugly selfish regard for myself. So when I found myself justifying something, I stopped myself and set myself straight, and within a minute I was justifying myself about something else. You'd think I was hopeless. Thank God for His indwelling life; His very Spirit to lead me in the way I should walk!
The whole thing reminds me of a song called The Problem by Downhere (my all-time favorite band):
There's got to be some reason for all this misery
Some secret evil corporation somewhere overseas
They're pulling strings arranging things
It's a conspiracy!
Or what about the ones who shaped the course of history?
What if we petitioned for one grand apology?
I'll write to my prime minister -
You write your president!
Everybody's wondering how the world could get this way
If God is good, and how it could be filled with so much pain
It's not the age-old mystery we've made it out to be
Yeah there's a problem with the world
The problem with the world is me
Some will say the devil and his legions
Have put us in a headlock of submission
But they lost all power over me
A long, long time ago
And since I was a kid you know I've caused a lot of hurt
No-one ever taught me how to put myself first
It came so very naturally
I'm not a prodigy
So I will look no further than the mirror
That's where the great offender hides
So great is my need for a redeemer
That I cannot trust myself
No, I cannot trust myself
I dare not trust myself
So I trust in Someone else
The sooner you can sing along
The sooner you can sing this song
The happier you'll be
The problem with the world is me.
I especially love the second verse because it is so revealing of life apart from Christ. It's not like we need to WORK at being selfish. It comes naturally. The problem isn't an outside force - it's me.
Our world is so ready to help us blame others. Just listen to the media, or psychology, or your friends. Ironically, if everyone blames everyone, it's still everyone's fault. So let's own up. Let's be true men and women instead of mere shadows. Let's take responsibility for that which belongs to us - specifically, our own thoughts, intents and actions.
In my own life this means taking the blame when I'd rather not, turning the other cheek, giving preference to others and considering their needs as more important than my own. It cannot hurt me; "it only hurts my pride, and I do not owe my pride anything" (MacDonald). I am ready to be a true woman - one who gives instead of takes; one who serves instead of demands; one who loves truly and lives uprightly.
"For through the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of yourself than you ought to think, but to think so as to have sound judgment..." Romans 12:3a
